The Chaser is stranger than fiction
... it seems their GREAT JOKE about Daniel O'Connor deciding to re-interview for the position of "biological father" after meeting Tony Abbott has come true!
Tony Abbott's long-lost son is not his son. Someone apparently cut his lunch, and noticed a bit of an uncanny resemblance to his kids when pictures of Daniel were publicised. And DNA tests have confirmed that Daniel is not Abbott's child.
There is nothing quite like the guilty pleasure in watching tony abbot squirm. The cad gets his comeuppance! My words of advice to tony: "suffer in ya jocks!"
After all the cosy-feel good adoption "isn't it all for the best" sharing from abbott and his anti-abortion crusaders, it turns out that Daniel O'Connor isn't his son at all.
Let's just do a little review...
"Heh, and that's when I said to her, Up the duff? whatev, I'm off on a jaunt with my mates. Let me know how it goes."
"...and being a responsible catholic father, I decided against abortion, and now, I have a wonderful son, who proves what a decent human being I am, and whose existence is far more than just as a political football for my neo-conservative agenda..."
"I have a SON! I shall call him mini-Abbott, and forcibly indoctrinate him in Liberal values so that I can undermine the ABC from the inside! HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA take that Kerry O'Brien!"
"and the fact that I'm extracting maximum publicity for this heart-warming human interest piece on what a wonderful story adoption is has nothing at all to do with my crusade against women's access to safe legal abortion... but let me just say how disappointed I am that more people don't follow in my responsible fatherly shoes in offering up their offspring as a donation to married fertility-challenged couples on a more regular basis - selfish twats..."
"not my son? ... whaddya mean 'DNA test'? .... and that means... Kathy?!?"
*sound of teeth grinding*
And best of all, since tony has used the hypothetical argument that if he and his girlfriend had chosen abortion, the lovely Daniel would never have existed, and therefore abortion is "bad", now he has to stand by the equally hypothetical argument that if his girlfriend hadn't been playing the field, Daniel would also never have existed, and therefore cheating on your dorky Young Liberal boyfriend is therefore "good".
On his own nonsensical hypothetical logic, for Abbott to push for teenage sexual abstinence is tantamount to saying he wished Daniel didn't exist. Oooh! Mean! Almost as mean as saying that women should be allowed to decide for themselves whether or not to continue a pregnancy! It shows more clearly than ever the stupidity of hypothetical arguments put by the anti-abortion brigade along the "would you abort Beethoven" line. We're all here due to a strange mix of luck and human chance and if our parents didn't have sex on a particular day we might not be here or might be someone else. Wow - freaky - but still not an argument to reduce access to abortion. I wouldn't have been born if my parents hadn't engaged in a bit of workplace romance but do you see me legislating to make people shack up with their work-mates? No!
The other point is, (as Sushi Das points out) Abbott never even had a clue what the choices involved in continuing or terminating an unexpected pregnancy involved, let alone about the heart-break for a woman to carry a baby to term and then relinquish it. Perhaps now he'll get a little appreciation of how complex this issue is, and that these are personal choices, not ones to be made by politicians who think they know better.
So much for milking your personal life for political point-scoring. Looks like Tony's sperm weren't so sacred after all....
As Jessculture asks, does this mean we are allowed to have abortions again?
It would all be really funny, except that one poor bloke now not only has to deal with the long-term identity issues and trauma which go along with being adopted - as Roger Outtram points out, finding birth parents is more like opening a pandora's box that reaching your "happily ever after".