pseudo swede blemishes the internet with her impure thoughts and so on.

keskiviikkona, tammikuuta 26, 2005

We've been liz-o-vatedi mean fop-o-vated!!

if you don't like it, you can have a clog to the head.

torstaina, tammikuuta 20, 2005

Big-boned fella seeks Howard-like role in leadership vacuum. Likes: war, musing on "if Howard did it, and the Australian public liked it, then it should work for me too", mateship amongst union blokes, when people see him as a last ditch hope and take refuge in his big manly embrace.

i'm with goonan - the howard-beazley analogies just aren't helping. if people want howard-style xenophobia and conservatism, they are going to vote for howard, not "i can't believe it's not howard" beazley. besides, beazley doesn't have that much in common with howard except for his age, and record of repeat failures ... and failure to understand the Refugee Convention... and liking for all things military... - well apart from all those things, howard and beazley are very different political animals.

Howard made his come back from "mr 17%" because of his rodenty nose for learning from his mistakes:
- don't be too obvious about your racism (now that we let non-anglos vote) - just talk in vague terms about "those kind of people" and what is and isn't "Australian",
- acquire some of the outward trappings of respect for other people (but reserve them for only those who fit your picture of "deserving" - ie sportsmen, members of the armed forces, victims of non-state terrorism and natural disasters),
- let others push the extreme right policies, so that you look mainstream - and then steal their policies (eg pauline hanson, family fist),
- never admit you are wrong (just keep repeating your own "truth", and if it becomes unsustainable, blame your information, or offer to submit yourself to "the great lie-detector of the australian people" - but still don't admit that you were wrong) .

Beazley, however, shows few signs of learning from his biggest, dumbest mistake yet - the thought that imitating howard is a good idea. As goonan points out, Beazley's also got a few things to learn about pitching a simple, accessible message, and addressing the ALP weak-point on their perceived economic management.

As for beazley's leadership instinct, let's just remember, what was beazley's response to the tampa crisis? "um, oooh" *whispers* "this is a tricky one ... errr... if we had a proper (? respect for human rights) (? sense of decency) um... (i know - i got it!!) COAST GUARD, this would never have happened" (smiles and gives himself a big beary slap on the back and looks around for approval).

Julia Gillard has all the smarts, and plain-talking to do the job, if only her party would get over its "what? elect a chick?" dickheadry. Go Jules!

Period Drama

heaving bosomry? hurrah!
pouty reese-isms? mmm-mm!
habadashery galore? aye-aye!
ringlets? tick!
pauper children? oh yes!

that's right, last night we went to see Vanity Fair "with-a-spoon"FULL of that winsome Reese Witherspoon. i just about "my dear mrs crawley, you shan't!"ed all the way home and had strange dreams about very pregnant ladies wearing fancy napoleonic ball gowns. it wasn't the best thing ever, but i do like a period drama, and it got me thinking, what if period dramas really were about periods? EW!

sunnuntaina, tammikuuta 16, 2005

she likes to poke it

who should we meet on saturday night but the "golden snatch" (aka ausculture's jess). You'll have to prod Fop for a full-explanation of that term, but let's just say i've never seen him hold his faux-army japanese shoulder bag quite so tightly... After several months enjoying a regular little slice of ausculture, i was quite curious as to the real persona of its maitre dee. i had visions of a wild zoo-lady, a dolly-parton look-alike or a rampant stalker. Fortunately, ms culture did not fail to exceed all these and other expectations, entertaining myself, my "hot lover" el prima, fop and various other innocents with conversation and antics well-deserving of a ms fits finger-bang. aside from offering assistance in getting my undies the right way around, and not laughing when i ordered lemonade, the best was ms culture's clear affection for all things to do with poking (pool cues etc) and her readiness to dispense advice (theoretical, she claims) on rimming.