sju-sjukskoterska

pseudo swede blemishes the internet with her impure thoughts and so on.

tiistaina, joulukuuta 16, 2003

nice
this is a word i saw used to quite good effect this morning in a letter to the paper and feel compelled to quote:

Racial slurs are just part of everyday life in Oz
Why are people so surprised at incidents of racial abuse at the cricket, or elsewhere in Australia (Letters, December 16). It might be news to some people, but to people of a non-white background it is part of Australian experience. The part that we don't talk about too much because we are told that if we don't like Australia we should pack up and leave. Nice.

There's a joke here, a good-natured insult there. But don't take it too seriously; it's the Australian way. Barbecues, beer, she'll be right, no worries, Mahatma Cote, Con the Fruiterer, we shall decide who come to this country and the manner in which they come.

The racial abuse is measured and precise, though. Aim it at the wrong target and there is hell to pay. Irish, American, Jewish - totally out of bounds. But Asian and European immigrants, refugees, and all people of the "wrong" skin colour are OK. They have no voice. So like a true bully, if your victim is defenceless and you are sure to get away with, go for it. You have the country behind you.

These are the acceptable forms of racism in Australia. The odd Greek joke, the Arab/terrorist pun, all Asian/Aboriginal/African slurs. It's supposed to be funny.

E. Vas-Blanford, Crows Nest, December 16.


also 'nice' in this sense of the word is the finding of the full federal court that:
Even if it is virtually certain that he or she [a person applying for refugee status] will be killed, tortured or persecuted in that country, whether on a Refugees Convention ground or not, that is not a practical consideration going to the ability to remove from Australia," the court ruled. "Rather, it is a consideration about a likely course of events following removal from Australia."

So imminent death and torture are just something to think about, not a consideration which should determine australia's ability to deport people... not quite sure how that fits with things such as the CONVENTION AGAINST TORTURE or the principle of non-refoulement... instead the court have used a technical 'nicety' to define torture and death as non-legal considerations which the government is entitle to avert its eyes from. it seems like a plague of 'niceness' that makes people blind to the damaging effects which their refusal to think / consider has on others.

Swanky-panky!
i must report that our household has been having a bit of a swank-fest of late. and really, who can help themselves, when faced with the charming notion of hillary having sex with chloe sevigny... mm!
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our journey to hillary has had a couple of interesting twists and turns...

first, "the (apple) core" - what a funny little sci fi / natural disaster / armageddon flick!

its real title (developed by housemate & myself) is "festival of the geeks" as the somewhat improbable story line has a global environmental crisis caused by the failure of the inner core of the earth to continue spinning as it is usually wont to do. (really? does the inner core of the earth spin? i think they just made that bit up for a shonky movie premise) the only way this ridiculous tale is made vaguely credible is by the host of scientific experts (tenderly known to us as "the geeks") who diagnose this disaster and then go on a special geeky-science fuelled adventure into the centre of the earth to set the thing going with a well-placed nuclear bomb. (Always a good policy i think, if it doesn't work, stick an atom bomb innit - that should get it going!! obviously *very* scientific!!)

our cast of heroes features geology-geek, weapons-geek (also known as geek a la francais), posh-geek, geek of the desert, internet geek (of course!) and hillary as aspiring astronaught girly swot. The least geeky one - stalwart astronaught hero geek - gets knocked off very early in the piece, leaving hillary to test her geeky mettle in piloting their underground ship to the core and back.

i'm afraid i had to miss the end bit as my dad called, but my housie says it was quite good and very watchable for the hillary factor alone. there is quite a bit of over-extended computer animation (because no-one really knows what the centre of the earth looks like, do they?) but the scene where they find themselves in a giant amethyst geode (if you know what that is, then you really are geeky enough to like this film) is really very pretty. exciting and quite ridiculously funny!

next, a slightly more substantial offering: insomnia
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the best thing about this was that it features the midnight sun! it is a re-make of a 1997 norwegian film (but i can't seem to find the title). hillary, again, is the dilligent junior - looking up to an inevitably fallible male mentor. al pacino - the mentor detective from the big smoke - seems to crumble the more she looks up to him - not only is he not getting any sleep (due to the persistent sunlight), but he has accidentally killed his partner (oops), and now someone knows about it. robin williams, yes yes, you are quite creepy but only in that evil-clown gentle-funny-sick way. aren't you glad you can make 'serious' movies now?

this is again a bit of a standard cop-shop drama, but the theme of inescapable light and examination make it a bit more interesting, along with the vivid way in which pacino's reality falls apart when he can no longer tell the difference between night and day, dream and reality, guilt and innocence.


maanantaina, joulukuuta 15, 2003

LEZZO FOR PREZZO!!
peruvian conservatives have squeezed out their first female prime minister Beatriz Merino on the basis of anonymous allegations of corruption and lesbianism. (obviously the two go together!)

she still has 62% popularity with the people however, so she's looking forward to the 2004 presidential elections...

in the cut (ouch!)
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i saw this movie last night and it is really SCARY! it is all about decapitation! scary and disgusting! my poor movie-side companion was subjected to me squirming, grabbing her arm and putting my hands over my eyes in numerous spots.

it does do some interesting things though - in particular it puts you through a sharp-eyed study of fear and desire and the thread of vulnerability that runs between them. meg ryan drops the cutesy-sweetness for uncertain, geeky and horny to great effect. her confusion of what / who is to be feared and desired leads her into a series of connections with various men, all of whom have you screaming "no silly! go and find someone who is not a murder suspect!" it is a film that left me feeling (again) aware of how vulnerable women are to male violence - some of this is real and quite rational but some of it feels "more like a fantasy of feminine self-hatred in which being manhandled by vile men is a turn-on".

i really liked the scenes between ryan and her sister (jennifer jason leigh) though the tenderness they built up made it all the more devastating when ryan later finds her sister "disarticulated" in the bathroom. it looks like a campion film - the sharp / fuzzy focus play, the little black and white ice-skating pantomime, the total sense of mood, but the last part especially feels like another gory episode of cop-homicide tv drama.

let me clarify - i felt a little resentful of the neat tv plot tricks campion played on us with the twisted identity, the lucky gun in the pocket (saved! even from a distance by her cop-hero) and the red lighthouse was too perfect an irony for our english-teacher heroine... but the come-down afterwards tempered it a little - frannie stumbling up the stairs with bloodstains to match her dress and curling up beside beside her poor handcuffed moustache-man (the only one she can trust - the one in whom her trust was not misplaced).

when she then looks out the window to see snow or leaves swirling and falling, campion takes us back to the very first scene of pauline in the garden - as though this whole gory episode may have been a freak storm in frannie's life. as nightmarish and damaging as it has been in taking apart everything dearest to her, and re-arranging all the pieces, at least it is about to end.

lauryn hill has been telling off the Vatican - good on her! even if she's a crazy christian.

sunnuntaina, joulukuuta 14, 2003

oh look - press this button!!

go on!!! pleeeese!!

snap!
oh look - the americans have captured a former dictator of a regime they helped set up! and now he is really evil - you see, killing civilians is nothing compared to growing a beard, looking like a terrorist and pissing off the americans. and what a good excuse to pump up the death penalty! don't worry about the Hague, or (god forbid) the international criminal court - the axis of anglo don't believe in that "multilateral" crap - how are you supposed to use 'evil dictators' as an excuse for waging wars if there is an established international legal body for apprehending and trying war criminals?? no, no, just fry him while there is still an american administration in place!

with an evil dictator to work with, who needs to find WMD...

while i'm on my little rant, here are my doublespeak terms for the day:

"blackmail" - as in the words of the anonymous spokesperson for the immigration department who wheeled out the ruddockspeak line about "blackmail will not work".... in response to 24 Afgani asylum seekers who are on a hunger strike (having been imprisoned on nauru for over 2 years with no prospect of release in the near future).

blackmail? this is not a matter of threatening to send pictures of the immigration minister in compromising positions (ew!!) to the newspapers! and the objective is not money, or illegitimate gain - it is freedom to live in a safe place. even the UNHCR think their refusal of refugee status needs to be looked at again. as for methods of protest - when you are locked up away from the gaze of the australian media, or from any visitors, it is pretty hard to make people remember that you exist unless you are about to die.

perhaps what the immigration department really want to say is - "no avenue of protest or legal recourse will work - we're going to lock you up indefinitely so just shut up. or better, go on and die then, see if we care!"

"get on with their lives" well it is a bit bloody hard when you are imprisoned on an island in the pacific with ACM guards for company!! really what i think the goverment meant to say was "get on with being a third world person somewhere a long way a way so we don't have to look at you!"

also - why does the detention of asylum seekers on Nauru by the Australian government feature as "world" news? yes yes i know that our government has attempted to excise various islands and territories from australia's territory for the sole purpose of defeating asylum claims (not, for example, to allow sovereignty for tiwi islands people, or torres strait islanders - no way jose!!) but does this dodgy dictum apply even to the australian press ??

now i haven't finished with da brat yet!
i have been alerted by will that da brat seems to have struck up quite a friendship with mariah carey. much as i ordinarily find her very ordinary, mariah's warbling on 'heartbreaker' (also featuring missy) was quite a pleasure.

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herre, they look quite chummy, but...


then here, it seems that mariah has not only forced da brat (on the left, squinting) into a stupid dress which resembles a tube of alfoil, but has also made her stand in the background being dumped with glitter (which she is obviously ALLERGIC to) along with a similarly attired supporting actor while mariah takes centre stage wrapped in a shower curtain.

What is going on?

well, it seems they have made a film together vaguely based on mariah's life story, streaked with a few lifted bits from billie holiday's life (for that 'reality' touch) and some dubious racial politics... apparently useless but i would still see it just for da brat...

i also like da brat because she seems to revel in her ambiguous sexuality and can actually say the d-word... ("They say is she is or is she ain't a dyke")

AND ! her latest project is co-mothering a "baby girl" with mariah ...

hopefully mariah won't go crazy again and leave da brat as a single mother!!

torstaina, joulukuuta 11, 2003

crazy robots
i came home last night and saw a "news item" in which some crazy robot was operating on a man's prostate. the surgeon controlling the crazy robot was wearing a little surgery hat with colourful crazy robots printed on it! i know robots are fun, but this seems a bit odd. the surgeon was very excited about getting to play with a robot and the patient said something along the lines of "i'm so glad i could have a crazy robot operate on me rather than have another man touch my prostate". hmmmmm....

a little word about discretion
i had been going along living my life under the apprehension that discretion was that fine skill in letting people know their fly was undone without causing a scene and so on. the refugee review tribunal however seem to have gotten hold of another end of the stick altogether and think that discretion is all about pretending not to be part of a minority group so that bigots don't attack you... good job that at least 4 out of 7 of the high court had the presence of mind to sort them out on that one.

da brat


who is this l-a-d-y?

she's occupying a lot of my attention lately - i heard her on missy's track 'sock it 2 me' and now after a little bit of prodding, my friend dru has lent me three of her works.

apparently, she's shy and doesn't like buckets - my thoughts exactly!

"Obsessed with me
Cause i'm shy
No matter which whip i pick,
And butt-kick your little buckets
And leave your face with a disgusted look"

now, as for disgusted looks, here are mr bush's thoughts on international law:

"International law? I better call my lawyer. He didn't bring that up to me," he said.

oh just as well you're not doing an important job like pretending to run a very big country!

maanantaina, joulukuuta 08, 2003

yes yes i know i should re-name this blog "see, missy elliot really IS a lesbian" but she is a bit of a subject dear to my heart so god help me if i can't stop banging on about her...

in order to pique my anticipation for "this is not a test" i got the bargain duo of missy hissytory "supa dupa fly" and "in da real world". so far "supa dupa" has been on very high rotation - this is a very slowed down chilled missy in comparison to her speedier "miss e - so addictive" and bouncy old skool "under construction"... anyway, attempts to sound vaguely expert aside, i really like it! so so so much! and it is all the better for a great big dose of lil kim:
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speaking of... it seems that missy is also keen on a bit of a dose of lil kim:
"Sorry cutie
Why you go and shake your bootie?
Cause there's only one Lil' Kim
The triple beam, the misdemean
Nigga queen, whoomp, we Tag Team
So hot we melt like ice cream
Without the dick riding"

crude, i know but this is a tag team duo that appeals...

torstaina, joulukuuta 04, 2003

i've picked out just the right chrissie pressie for that special little man who insists on calling himself the "prime" minister of this country. i'll keep it a surprise for him, but this is it:
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can you imagine the joy in his squinty little eyes as he shoves jeanette out of the way to rip the paper off this one!

his very own star wars clone trooper! maybe if he's really good, santa will get him the full-body costume!

really, i'm sure he will enjoy it so much that he'll forget about spending huge amounts of the national budget on humouring dubya's little fantasy that star wars really do exist outside george lucas' special effects department.

now, on a much nicer note: what about the argentinian women's hockey team?? .

they are really good!! and extremely attractive! i happened upon them last night when we managed to sneak into the australia - argentina game after our indoor match last night. it was a draw - which means australia is out, but i think that means the argentinian ladies get a shot at the finals - i know who i'm barracking for! vamos chickas!



tiistaina, joulukuuta 02, 2003

oh here is missy proclaiming her desire for avril lavigne and the spice girls:

TOTP: You must have a huge music collection, any records that would surprise people?
Missy: I like Faith Hill, and that girl with the song 'Complicated'. I think she's hot. And any old Michael Jackson album.

TOTP: Thay're pretty credible records, any embarrassing ones?
Missy: I can't tell you that [laughs]. Erm… I didn't hide the Spice Girls record but it's the song where they're in the rain, it's a rain joint.

TOTP: 2 Become 1?
Missy: Yes! That's it [laughs]! I didn't hide it though... it's just there. Shoot I think a lot of people bought that record [laughs].

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here is another lady who wouldn't mind a bit of care from the swedish nurses... indeed, swedish, dutch, she really doesn't mind. in her new single you can hear her calling for someone to "pass that dutch"

sju-sju-what?

i like this word because it is SWEDISH.

the way you pronounce it is something in between 'shoo' and 'who'. sju means seven - a good, lucky number i think, and sjukskoterska means nurse or nurses - literally sick (sjuk) carers (skoterska).

i also like the idea of seven swedish nurses taking *very* good care of me.
not to fetishise the nursing profession or anything, and those poor swedes! you can hardly type 'sweden' into a search engine without being instantly delivered a wad of very dull porn.

so, here it is. i hope to provide more soon.

the date looks funny, it is because i put it in finnish. they didn't have swedish (sigh)